Labels

I would imagine that even the most well-intentioned among us, if honest, would acknowledge that many of us immediately label a person based on their appearance and/or mental capability. Reluctantly, I admit that I've had to work through my tendency to jump to a conclusion about somebody now that we have a daughter to whom labels will be immediately attached upon observation of her. I wish it weren't true, but to think otherwise would be naive. After all, this tendency within our human nature goes back to Adam & Eve.

Just the other day, a kind woman (who was a stranger to us) exclaimed to Jennifer upon seeing Janie Grace, "oh, they are so cute when they are little". True, Janie is ultra-cute and, yes, most 7-month-old babies are adorable. However, clearly, the "they" this woman was referring to was people with Down Syndrome. Otherwise, she'd have said, "oh, isn't she so cute?!" Upon hearing such a statement, on the outside, we smile and say "yes, SHE is" but on the inside it's easy to lash out at the label being attached to our daughter. We just want to say "and she'll be cute when she's 30!" On the other hand, we probably once said equally naive things and understand that it just comes with the territory. Clearly, nobody is intending to slander Janie Grace.

Why do I say all of this? Certainly, I'm not seeking to whine about people that label Janie Grace. In reality, people stereotype me as quickly as they do Janie. Frankly, I'm guilty of it too. I say all this because of an innocent question Jacob raised tonight during prayer time in bed.

Jennifer's sister, Tracy, is expecting her 2nd child later this year, so we often pray for the health of Tracy and the growing baby. Prayer time at our house isn't the most pious of moments. Jacob and Jensen will often inject a comment or question mid-prayer. Tonight was no different. Immediately after praying for Baby Mansfield's health, Jacob chimed in "so that the baby doesn't have a feeding tube and Down Syndrome?" (Gulp...where did that come from?).

I suppose it's worth quickly explaining that, while we're very honest with the kids about JG's health issues, we've been calculated with saying much of anything that would prevent Jacob and Jensen from doing anything but perceiving her to be their sweet baby sister. Naturally, as parents, we wanted that to be her only label in the eyes of our kids for years to come. Now, I'm not suggesting that, as of tonight, Jacob will always look at her as "my sister with Down Syndrome" any more than I'm his dad with freckles. However, there was a thud in both Jennifer and my souls tonight when the reality hit that Jacob is beginning to recognize that Janie Grace is different (pleasantly I might add) from other 7-month-old baby sisters. Few people adore Janie like Jacob does, so clearly he meant no harm by his comment, but it's clear the veil of innocent ignorance is being pulled back. We knew the day would come...just hoped it would take longer.

One of the many blessings available to our kids through Janie is that her health does raise questions in their minds such as Jacob's from tonight. It leads to meaningful conversations that we hope will lead to significant impressions on their hearts. Tonight's conversation continued down a path to, "well why did God allow Janie to have Down Syndrome? why was it God's will? was does DS feel like?" I'm not sure we'd have reason to be answering these questions for Jacob (and Jensen who's intently listening to the answers as well) at this point were it not for the precious gift of JG in each of our lives.

One thing is certain...each of them is a treasure. (Yeah, I know, I just labeled them.)

I'm not sure anything I wrote makes much sense to anybody but me but it felt good to try and give a glimpse into some of the more serious thoughts that travel through our brains when there's a free moment.